I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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