You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
