making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize