Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
