Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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