Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize