she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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