so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you traded sex for a burrito?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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