is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just puked most of my soul out..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
