This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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