i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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