a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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