So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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