I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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