Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
