Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just made my gag reflex go away.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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