She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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