another moral hangover. fuck.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
