And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
