Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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