**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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