having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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