Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
