I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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