20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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