oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
