You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
