there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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