I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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