Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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