But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
