dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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