Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i barfeds in our rink
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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