Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Boobs speak an international language.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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