Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize