New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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