Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
