fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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