like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
