Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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