Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
