i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
