Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
