It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize