I think my vagina is haunted
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
