some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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