You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
