i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
