Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
whose parrot is this?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
