Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
