trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
