Betty ford says i'm here all night
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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