it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
