shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Randomize
