He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
