God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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