If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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