Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
